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Dear Miley.

You're such a beautiful young girl. Even with that tomboy hair cut you look gorgeous. I'm not really sure if you know who I am because you're so young, but once upon a time I gave head to the head of State.

Girl, being a whore is both a blessing and a curse, I don't know if you give better head than me, but if you have a better head over your shoulders you will survive the public pressure of being a whore and people will remember you twenty years down the road. Nobody remembers me anymore.

I ended up like the CEO of my own purse company and failed miserably in reality TV. My book sales good though, but nobody gets a shit load of money selling books. I'm honorable now.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Miley, is that being a whore gave me all that I have, but my life isn't fun now, I'm not a sex icon. The other thing is that I know a whore when I see one and, let me tell you sister, you ain't about shit and your tongue ain't either.

Fuck You Miley! You won't make it like a whore, you'll fade away like I did unless you get your shit together, Vevo records ain't shit man, you're Hannah Montana!

Love.

Monica Lewinsky.